Carlton Halpert

Several of my biographers have remarked on the passionate connection I feel for the sea. Several others have remarked that it is strange that I cannot swim. Let’s ignore the second group and instead ponder the wisdom of the first.

Halpert Maritime Salvage was the first company I founded. Almost as soon as I had graduated from the Manticore Academy (Class of 1938) I was eager to begin my the grand adventure that my life was destined not to become. And so HMS was born.

The company’s first vessel was a tug named “Awkward Silence” in her we sailed far and wide in search of flotsam, jetsam, ligan and derelict. Oh, how you would marvel to see the wonders that we trawled up from the briny deep. The sea, it turns out, is well stocked with fish and so we found that we had little need for the onboard wood-fired pizza oven (that I’d installed at significant personal cost).

After a few years of subsistence living in the Caribbean it occurred to me that we might be a sight more proactive in “generating and retrieving jetsam”. To this end we began a policy of boarding other ships and tossing their cargo overboard to be retrieved at our leisure.

This new policy improved our income significantly, so much so that I was soon able to go back on shore to begin the career for which I am now so well known.

<< Spoiler ahead >>

I really don’t understand why sites do this. All I wanted to do was give you the recipe for a rather good crab dip that I invented. Suit yourself.

<< Spoiler ends >>

To this day a fleet of 13 ships ply the waves under my flag and once a year I journey to the Florida coast, to Key Dupp, and there meet with my captains and receive their tribute (mainly in the form of PayPal transfers).