Carlton Halpert

This be that man who lives in drainpipe at the bottom of the wall. This be that man who can’t resist a carrot. This be that man you know you’ve seen nibbling the lawn.

Man named Georg C-T. Works his magic, fouls my grammar. Sometime you see him you see tepid white-boy. Sometime you see him see 400 drunken rabbits.

How Georg work that magic? How Georg work that magic? Answer me.

Concentrate Halpert, concentrate. You can do this, you can make them understand.

There is a man who lives in the drainpipe at the bottom of the wall that surrounds my home. His name is Georg. The drainpipe is 6” across, he is 6’ tall. When you look directly at him you see a pleasant fellow with a slightly bland facial expression and an unusually twitchy nose. When you see him out of the corner of your eye you see a host of at least 400 drunken rabbits.

I have two theories.

Georg is a powerful supernatural being capable of existing in two forms at one time and of channeling great power from other dimensions.
I am very very unwell indeed and should be sequestered from society for the sake and safety of those I love.

Georg be that magic man, Georg be those rabbits, Georg be coming to make everything better / worse / other soon.

Guillermo, help me.

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Name: Georg Centzon Totochtin
Date of Birth: 4 Lizard, Miccailhuitontli
Appearance: Either a 6’2” man or a host of drunken rabbits
Favorite Book: “Watership Down and Out in Paris and London”