Halpert Life Sciences
“Playing God”, it’s a phrase that gets bandied about far too much these days. Is it really so wrong to seek to create (to give a hypothetical example) an army of aquatic apes? Or to yearn for the day when livestock can be bred that yield an acceptable tofu substitute?
It was to address issues such as this that Halpert Life Sciences was founded. Major funding for the first few years of research came from the good people of The Halpert Foundation, and without their support I doubt very much that we would be where we are today (assuming that we are).
At the time of writing Halpert Life Sciences is engaged in numerous projects, including…
Antarctic Species Manipulation – Under the leadership of Sally Bancroft-Wax our facility at Earth’s frozen backside is a marvel to behold and a true inspiration. Bancroft-Wax and her team of, mostly imaginary, scientists are working round the clock to cure squids of their lisps and to breed a seal with a lion to create the mythical “Sealion”.
The Spice Musk Flow – At our equatorial laboratory an undisclosed number of distinguished boffins are hell-bent on all manner of convoluted doings. As far as I can work out their main objective is to breed a paprika flavoured woodpecker. But I may have misread the fax.
Tundra Thighs – The most northerly of our three facilities is (to the casual observer) a simple ostrich farm. However, in fact it is a sinister ostrich farm.
