Copper Kipper Caper
There has been a disturbing trend in recent months. I’ve noticed that all too frequently I am forced to recount some tale of violence, acrimony or murder. And I am sorry to relate that this entry is no exception. In fact today’s events were perhaps sadder than others as they include shameful behavior from three women whom I’d hitherto considered paragons.
This morning I was glad to attend a breakfast gathering at Manticore Acres (hosted by Servilia’s Brother, that meme among men, Earl). The gathered throng included a host of local dignitaries and Eurotrash, including my wife, Servilia, Ms. Olive Stamp and Mrs. Maude Caption.
The spread laid out by the staff of the Manticores’ was as lavish as one might expect. As far as the eye could see the table was covered with an array of cold cereals, skim milk, dry toast and other luxuries. I was not the only member of the throng to be caught visibly drooling (I’m looking at you, Estacion).
The incident in question occurred when the three women all reached for the same kippered herring at the exact same moment. Despite the fact that there was ample kipper for all they had all decided that this was the “fish among fish” and therefore the only one that would do. The situation rapidly turned from comic to angry, from angry to violent, from violent to bloody.
By the time the Polite Force arrived the kipper was no longer fit for consumption (if it ever had been) and all three of the combatants were in a state of considerable disarray. I do not think that any formal charges will be brought against any of the participants and, once the stitches are removed, Caption’s ear should be securely reattached to her unlucky noggin.
