Another year races by and my kids are already hard at work on the holiday festivities. As is our annual tradition a selection of my offspring will be staging “an entertainment” at the Manticore Memorial Center For The Performing Ass (formerly, Club Discretion).
You may recall that last year The Twins (Fraternal) led the cast in an eye-watering adaptation of “The Nutcracker”. This year it falls to The Twins (Identical) to choose the text, and lead the company.
This has resulted in significant tension across the estate. Penelope has a great love for the lights, music and personalities of classic Broadway, while his sister is much fonder of classic literature. It took a forceful (and expensive) intervention by “Legal” Tony to separate them, and resolve the conflict. In the end though the spirit of the season (glug) prevailed and the Twins have collaborated on a new one-woman show.
It is with a sense of fear, mingled with fright, that we announce…
Students of the Clan Von Halpert will know that one of our greatest tragedies was the loss of our son, 
Paranoia takes many forms. For some, there is just a lurking feeling that something is wrong, that things are taking a turn for the worse. For others, the feelings can be very specific and focussed with the patient displaying a strong antipathy toward certain individuals. For 
There has been a disturbing trend in recent months. I’ve noticed that all too frequently I am forced to recount some tale of violence, acrimony or murder. And I am sorry to relate that this entry is no exception. In fact today’s events were perhaps sadder than others as they include shameful behavior from three women whom I’d hitherto considered paragons.
Well hip-hop lovers. Mark this date in your calendars as “The Day The Music Died”. I’ve just received (at the offices of 
As my regular readers will know I am a great supporter of the arts and of paintings and what not in particularly. Today was tremendously exciting as it marked the opening of 
Disturbing news from the southern outpost of Halpert Life Sciences. We just received a somewhat garbled series of messages from Sally Bancroft-Wax, (not pictured) the lead scientist at our South Pole research station.
It was only a matter of time. We all saw it coming, but somehow we were not ready for it.
This morning I received a disturbing call from 
If you want something done properly, do it yourself.
Today I was called upon by a group who shall (for the sake of discretion) remain nameless to preside over a “Duel by Chili”. This group, whose ancient rites and rituals have inspired several best-selling novels in recent years, settle scores and grudges by means of culinary contests (and occasionally, fist fights.
